Alien Nation

As I start making concrete preparations for my move, I can't help looking back at where I came from, where I've been, and where I'm headed and beyond. I also couldn't help being reminded of the startling revelation when a friend of mine described me as 'restless'.

I am restless. Even as I stand at the precipice of a major move, I am wondering what next. And next and next and next. After college, I took some time off to work and figure out what I want to do, and ever since, there have been major transitions in my life at two year intervals. Perhaps it's a mark of my restless nature, I don't know. Making a major change is very intoxicating - you don't think you can do it until it's done and then you seek the next high.

With time ticking down, I find myself struggling with the issue of just where I call home. Having wandered the earth since I was a wee bairn, I am torn loving the life of a global nomad, and yet yearning to settle down and call some place home. It's not that I don't want to call Singapore home, I just can't. It's not, never was, never has been, and never likely will be. And as I pottered around the wide wide world of web reading up on relocation and expatriate experiences, I came across sites about third culture kids, and suddenly - everything makes sense. Everything.

Many Third Culture Kids face an identity crisis: they don't know where they come from. It would be typical for a third culture person to say that he or she is from a country but nothing beyond their passport defines it; they usually find it difficult to answer the question.

[T]hird culture kids develop a sense of belonging everywhere and nowhere. Their experiences among different cultures and various relationships makes it difficult for them to have in-depth communication with those who have not experienced similar conditions. While third culture kids usually grow up to be independent and cosmopolitan, they also often struggle with their identity and with the losses they have suffered in each move. - Wikipedia

'[B]elonging everywhere and nowhere,' I could have sworn I've written that exact phrase somewhere in this blog. Like I said, suddenly, everything makes sense. I've struggled to make people understand my disquiet, and it bothered me enough that I seriously contemplated seeing a therapist. After reading the extensive research that has gone into understanding TCKs, it's like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I could actually be NORMAL.

Well, normal being rather relative of course.